my first disappointment

I had my first disappointment at my new job. It came last week at an after-work, after-hours event. I was sick that day, that week for the matter, but I made the conscious decision to go for a couple of reasons that I'll summarize as this: This job may not be as 'corporate'/stuffy/political as my last, but nonetheless there are still politics and ways of the work culture that i can observe/learn from/digest more when I'm socializing my co-workers out of the office. It doesn't hurt that when people are drunk (and I'm sober) they fess up to lots more stuff like "what companies do people go to after their run here is over?" Also, I realized that I have not attended any after work events, and since I'm still "the new girl", I don't want to come off as anti-social, even if I were.

I would like to interrupt all of this by saying that I got a PhD in Corporate Politics after two years at Fortune5.

As I was leaving, an inebriated higher-up pulled me aside and told me to let him know if "that LastName boy comes on too hard." At first, I was very confused as to what he was talking about, but minute I caught on, I purposefully maintained my confusion compure to let him know how ridiculous and unnecessary his comment was.

First of all, no one in the office refers to anyone by their last name. It's a casual, first-name basis type of environment. Higher-Up was referring to the office intern, who's younger than me (and hence the youngest person in the office). The fact that he didn't refer to the intern by first name, and not even by "intern", just rubbed me the wrong way. I shook my head at Higher-Up's suggestion of any trace of inappropriate behavior by LastName but thanked him for his concern.

Because this exchange can only get better, Higher Up then said something to the effect of, "We're from the same island so I know how the men can be." When he said that I couldn't hide the "excuse me?!" look from my face but then recovered to ask this White male about just exactly what island he was from (because being from an island myself, via my parents, if you wanna be technical, I could not fathom what island this man could be from. And yea, not to sound ignorant, I of all people should comment on people "looking" like they're from here or there, but still, it's my first reaction to this auburn haired man who looks like he burns in the sun very easily). Haiti, of course! Long story, but he lived there for over a decade, his parents or ancestry is not Haitian but he knows what the men of Hispaniola "are like."

I was already offended at his disregard for LastName, who has worked there a little longer than I have.

Then, I was offended at the thought that two young people from similar backgrounds (but only from a certain background!) can't be cordial without someone suspecting that foul play is going on. (Never mind that in the even that LastName and I did have something, it wouldn't be against policy cuz neither one of us reports to the other.) I couldn't shake the gut feeling that he would never go up to a female white co-worker and say "is that young white male I see you talking to, is he bothering you?"

To top it all off, his claim to know what island men "are like."

I have purposely avoided LastName for the past few days, I don't want to jeopardize him in any way, though he is doing nothing wrong. As far as Higher Up goes, I have my eyes open a little wider. Luckily, I had announced that I was leaving the party before we had this enlightening conversation so I was able to quickly remove myself from the conversation and clear my head on the train ride home. Now that it's out in writing, it's done. Not gonna let it get to me. I mean, if Higher Up has gotten to where he is carrying this ignorance with him, then there's no limit to what I can do with my heightened sense of awareness, intelligence, tact, and wit, right? (This is how I get through moments like these).

Housekeeping: Image credits to http://www.willmurai.com.